The Younger Me

"My mother used to keep lists of different things, one that led me to this discovery. There were lists of the things we wish to have or do, one for each of my brother and me. When I read mine, I realized that it’s not just a list of needs and desire; it meant more. Each item on my list has evolved into a quality in my personality. Flower, the first item, could be interpreted as my tenderness and softness with whoever surrounds me and the ones I love and care for. “Learning second grade’s subjects,” shows ambition, as I was a first grader by that time. Colored pens, a sharpener and an eraser, reveal my interest in art, which I have improved throughout my life. A mobile, (which I never got until an older age), demonstrates the desire to be connected to others. A piano, to me, was a chance to learn more, as I would have to learn to play, as well as a buoy to help me learn how to swim. Traveling to Dubai illustrates how I like to travel, yet I am economically considerate for choosing a nearby destination. Swings, a slide, and a seesaw display playfulness and an urge to have innocent fun. A backpack from “Toys R Us” that could transform into a chair proves how I prefer the compressed and practical. New shoes portray an interest in fashion, and now shoes are what most interest me when it comes to clothing. Renewing my room’s furniture expresses how I like change and modification every now and then. Lastly, a mid-sized Qura’an (our holy book) symbols religious belonging. It symbols my Islamic identity. It symbols my beliefs and values. These items partly define me, and tell me who I really was.

Today, every item means something to me. Each item tells me about myself, and how I haven’t changed, but only developed what I already had all along. Trying to understand myself has been very difficult when I feel that my life is complicated, and that I have plenty of things going on, but trying to compare myself to what I was helped, as it showed me that a sunflower only grows from a sunflower seed, and I have grown from my own seed. Just like growing up makes you bigger in size when you’re still the same person and look similar to what you were, my different qualities have also become bigger in size, although not always for the best, for no one is perfect. Everything around me shaped who I am at this moment, nevertheless, no matter how much they see me unlike who I was in the past, the fact that I originated from that little girl I was ten years ago cannot be denied." (Alhashem, 2009)


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